Finally met him. Hours before the time to meet, I felt my heart beat very fast. My hands shake as I am working. Only then I finally realize, I am not at all fully prepared to see him. I thought I had mentally prepared myself for this meeting. But obviously I was wrong.
During lunch time, I sob. But only for a short while. And when I finally saw him, I keep repeating to myself, " I can do it. I must be brave." I just pass him back his DS and took my stuff back. In that short couple of minutes,
I just said, " Thx! The DS return you, and the scrub please pass to your sis."
"You don't want the DS?" He said
I shake my head and replied, " No. It is yours. Bye." I smile and I walk off.
But the moment I turned my head, my tears fell again. I looked at his car afar, seeing that the car move off, then I walked off. My colleague had to come down to look for me and comfort me. I felt so tiny, so weak. I hate myself for not being strong enough. I hate the weak part of me.. Why can't I be braver, stronger, and have more courage. But at least I took the first step. Although the impact is big, I should be able to overcome it. Please let me have faith.
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